Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. A difficulty comes up or life is just being hard, and instantly we begin to run through all the problems in our head. Our inner conversation explores all our biggest fears and our day is instantly shot. This may sound extreme and you might be thinking that it’s never that bad for me – but even the little struggles often have a very similar effect on us. But it doesn’t have to be this way. By training your inner conversation, you can move from being stuck dwelling on the problem to learning to focus on solutions – and this simple trick will transform your day.
Here are some ideas to help in training your inner conversation:
1. Understand the power of your words. Words are important! If you are constantly putting yourself down, you might not stand a chance. Start by being kind to yourself. Pay attention to the words you use. Start with understanding and being very selective in your word choice.
2. Know what you can and can’t control. There are some things you can control, and others you can’t. Make sure you know the difference and be able to evaluate the circumstances. This might be hard at times, but fight through the blame and try to get the whole picture.
3. When you’re in a hole – stop digging! Be realistic with your situation. Try to identify the root cause of the problem and find ways to stop it. Many times this requires being really honest with yourself.
4. Decide your valuable. It’s easy to put the blame on and feel guilty. Don’t let this become your opinion of yourself. Make sure you know that you’re valuable! People need you and although there might be some problem or struggle now, you can and will get through it.
5. Adopt solution based thinking. Every time we make an excuse or blame someone else or even blame ourselves, that means we are still looking at the problem. Get past the problem and start looking at solutions. Get your focus off the issue that “was” and move on to the solution that “will be”. Learn to find solutions instead of problems.
Training your inner conversation can be difficult, but it is possible – and can change your life! There is this little saying, “What you think about comes about.” Just think about it for a second. A cake is the result of the ingredients. It can only be as good as the recipe and all the stuff that goes into it. If you put bad things into that cake – you’re gonna have a bad cake. You are the same way! If you’re constantly bad to yourself, then you’re gonna have a bad and miserable day.
Focus on training your inner conversation to put good into your day. Look for solutions instead of problems. Start to build a habit of seeking solutions with little problems and work your way up to the big ones. Before long this habit will have you flying through the day, smiling, and crushing life.